Masculinity

After our class discussion and reading Valenti's "Boys Do Cry" I found myself having a better understanding of masculinity and what it truly means.  The problem with defining masculinity is that is based off of what society feels is the "ideal man" and how that is enforced into young boys. There are many forms of masculinity and I keep an open mind about what is masculine and what is not.  I think it is important to keep an open mind because no one persons' idea of what is masculine is 100 percent correct.  I don't define masculinity based on appearance, masculinity in my mind is stability, having goals, how one presents themselves, and maturity.  Maturity plays a large role in masculinity.  For example my father when he was in his early twenties was rough housing at the bars.  Though now he is fifty years old and he cries when I give him a sentimental card for father's day.  My father's emotions nowadays may be due to him being comfortable with whom he is, but when he was twenty he felt as though he needed to prove himself to others.

Boys are taught to be tough and to show no emotion, but this can detrimental to their mental health, as well as their overall well-being.  Boys share the same emotions as girls, yes they can and do cry, but I feel bad for men when they are told it is "unmanly" to cry.  That is ridiculous and I feel as though that is the reason why men are more violent than women.  They hold in all of their emotions and then when they are at the edge, they act out in ways that are violent and damaging.  I see no problem if a guy cries over something that is upsetting to them, or if something made them happy; it shows that they are human beings who feel emotions.  Valenti made a great point by saying masculinity has a large impact on the way women are treated.  This comes into play when men feel as though they need to be dominant, when all a woman wants is someone to talk to and be there for her.  It’s a mind game for women when men try to be dominant because women then have to guess and figure out what they are feeling.  I don't understand why men just can't open up and say how they feel!  Life in relationships would be much easier that way.